However the public outrage over Cardi B’s alleged affair isn’t actually about dishonest in any respect. It’s in regards to the dangerous perception {that a} lady’s worth, notably a pregnant lady’s, lies in her potential to stick to a slim, socially acceptable code of behaviour.
Cardi B and Offset’s marriage has been rocky for a while, with dishonest allegations going each methods. It’s attention-grabbing (and by attention-grabbing, I imply horrifying) that the general public are keen to place apart Offset’s dishonest and solely criticise Cardi B’s selections just because she “has his child inside her”. There’s an uncomfortable undertone of male possession right here.
The infant Cardi B is carrying is hers in addition to Offset’s, and can later develop into an individual of their very own. Folks’s insistence on calling her out by saying she had intercourse with “another person’s child inside her” as if it’s a completely separate entity to her, is ridiculous. What’s actually being stated in these opinions, whether or not they realise it or not, is that Cardi B’s rising being pregnant made her decisions extra shameful, as if being with little one ought to have stripped her of her autonomy and needs.
Among the criticism appears to be led by misinformation-led ethical policing of ladies’s sexuality. There’s a deep-seated false impression that it’s disgusting and even harmful to have intercourse whereas pregnant with somebody who isn’t the organic father of the kid, and that’s derived from the male need for ‘paternity certainty’– a phenomenon as previous as time the place ladies are basically slutshamed and anticipated to have intercourse with a small variety of individuals in order that males they might finally have kids with may be positive their infants are genetically theirs.
As a result of this concept is tightly woven into the material of society, we are able to’t all the time assist however have a intestine response of disgust when a lady sleeps with “too many” individuals (basically the place slutshaming comes from). The concept that ladies should all the time uphold a better ethical customary, even within the face of betrayal, is exhausting and hypocritical.
When being pregnant is concerned, that sexual scrutiny turns into all of the extra insufferable. Ladies are anticipated to be “pure” and sexually loyal to the daddy of their little one, even when that father has not prolonged the identical courtesy.
That’s due to plain previous dehumanisation. The extraordinary response to Cardi B’s rumoured affair highlights how we, as a society, view pregnant ladies not as people however as child-carrying containers. As quickly as a lady turns into pregnant – well-known or not – she’s anticipated to make any and all selections by the lens of her little one. She’s a child provider first, after which an individual. This is identical sort of pondering that underpinned the overturning of Roe v. Wade – a monumental blow to reproductive rights in America that has left US ladies compelled to hold undesirable pregnancies to time period in states the place abortion entry has been severely restricted. Since Roe v. Wade’s fall, anti-abortion rhetoric has gained traction, prioritising the foetus over the girl carrying it.
Cardi B is being shamed not simply due to her infidelity, however as a result of she dared to behave on her personal needs whereas pregnant. Her autonomy, it appears, now not belongs to her – similar to hundreds of thousands of different pregnant ladies who’re being stripped of their rights the world over. Certain, entry to abortion care may look like a way more urgent difficulty than a lady’s proper to have intercourse whereas pregnant, however none of this exists in a vacuum. The 2 points are undeniably linked. We’re attempting to dwell, join, and share experiences with one another on a backdrop of rampant misogyny and dehumanisation of pregnant ladies, and that’s an unimaginable feat.