‘After Midnight’ host Taylor Tomlinson is ‘the most effective model’ of herself on stage : NPR

Comedian Taylor Tomlinson was simply 16 when she caught the stand-up bug. That is when she began acting at open mics in church basements in Orange County, Calif., the place she grew up.

“It isn’t a cool story,” Tomlinson says. “However … church audiences are very supportive — so long as you do not say something darkish, edgy or blue.”

Through the years, Tomlinson’s materials has shifted, with matters starting from the perils of relationship on apps to discovering out she has bipolar II dysfunction. Although she was initially uncertain about speaking about her personal psychological well being on stage, she says it is helped her join with the viewers.

“I received such superb suggestions from individuals who had been combating their psychological well being, … the way it made them really feel seen and fewer alone and made them really feel higher about their very own journey,” Tomlinson says.

Tomlinson describes her on-stage presence as “the sharpest, quickest, wittiest, most assured model” of herself: “Once I began doing stand-up in highschool, it felt like extra of a persona, … just like the model of myself that I knew I may very well be and needed to turn out to be, however wasn’t but,” she says. “And I believe over time, who I’m off stage and who I’m on stage have come collectively the place I do really feel that I’m the identical individual all over the place.”

Earlier within the 12 months, Tomlinson grew to become the youngest ever late-night host. Her CBS present, After Midnight, has been described as a sport present that facilities on web tradition. Tomlinson additionally has three stand-up specials on Netflix: Quarter-Life Disaster, Have a look at You and Have It All. She’ll quickly be touring the nation together with her Save Me tour.

Interview highlights

On shedding her mom to most cancers when she was a baby and the way that affected her path to comedy

I am not saying that everyone in comedy or any artistic individual has to return from this darkish place and the one approach you are humorous is when you’ve got a darkness about you. I do not suppose that is true. However for me, that modified who I used to be and who I used to be going to turn out to be. And it modified my humorousness. And it made me strive actually onerous to show myself in a approach that I do not suppose I might have if she had been nonetheless alive. As a result of after you lose a guardian, you are still attempting to impress them, and you are still attempting to be any person that they’d have preferred and revered and beloved and been happy with. And also you’re hoping different individuals who knew them inform you that. …

I do depend on different folks’s accounts of her, as a result of there’s solely a lot you keep in mind if you lose any person at 8 years outdated. … Like my aunt has stated to me, “Oh, your expressions on stage will remind me of her.” … And which means a lot to me. And rising up, I needed to be a author earlier than I needed to be a comic. And they’d say, “Your mother was such an amazing author.” And there is so some ways I am not like her. Like she was an extrovert. She was very bubbly. She was very charismatic. She was attractive. … I do not suppose I shine brightly as she does and I, in a bizarre approach, really feel like my changing into a comic and a professionally artistic individual and a author is like my approach of honoring the potential that was wasted by the universe taking her.

On why she left the church after her mother died

I had been instructed in case you consider and pray and keep trustworthy, God will reply your prayers. And we had so many individuals praying for [my mom] and he or she believed she was going to get higher. And so to look at your mother die of most cancers, even whereas everyone gathers round her and lays palms on her and helps her and prays for her after which for them to show round and go, “Nicely, God did heal her. He simply healed her otherwise. She’s healed in heaven.” And I used to be like, whoa, OK. Like, the rewrite on that’s loopy. It made me query all the pieces. And slowly over the subsequent 10 years, I felt like I used to be struggling to remain in it the entire time I used to be rising up, and I simply felt like I used to be a foul Christian as a result of I did not, in my coronary heart, agree with all the pieces.

On being recognized with bipolar II dysfunction

I attempted so many antidepressants they usually weren’t working for me, and I used to be having horrible uncomfortable side effects. … It was definitely a years-long course of looking for what labored for me.

Then after I lastly did discover what labored for me, I kind of labored backwards from that and was like, oh, this is smart. … I had a lot disgrace round that prognosis after I first received it, and I used to be embarrassed that I felt ashamed as a result of I’ve by no means choose anyone else who had it. However when it is you, it is by some means completely different, which is why I began writing jokes about it.

On deciding to joke about having bipolar

I keep in mind my therapist stated to me, “Perhaps we do not discuss this on stage.” And I used to be like, “I’ve already achieved it.” … When you write one joke and it hits and you actually just like the joke, you are like, effectively, it is received to go within the act. … However after I filmed [Have It All], I felt nice about these jokes after which within the months ready for it to return out, I began panicking and was like, Oh no, I can not un-share any of this.

Through the years, I’ve gotten higher about enhancing myself and deciding what’s going to go within the act and what I am simply going to maintain non-public. But it surely’s numerous trial and error. … The guiding gentle for me has been even when one thing kills on stage, do I really feel good telling it each night time, or do I dread that bit developing? I’ve achieved jokes about very private issues that I took out of the act as a result of I used to be dreading attending to that a part of the hour each night time, and I used to be like, ooh, that is most likely an indication that I am not prepared to speak about this but. … I additionally run jokes by members of the family and mates earlier than I do them, as a result of a joke just isn’t value destroying a relationship, for my part.

Heidi Saman and Susan Nyakundi produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Beth Novey tailored it for the online.