It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever ebook, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is obtainable for pre-order! Right here!
An precise ebook that it is possible for you to to carry in your fingers. Or, if you happen to want my dulcet tones, take heed to together with your ears. You’ve beloved my revealing life updates, over time, and also you’ve diligently learn by my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind once I nearly by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my legislation diploma to develop into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.
You can name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my ebook within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.
And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by chance happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it might not.
So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this ebook. Let’s not get the incorrect finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it acquired to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a trip by a decade of the unbelievable eventualities and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and continuously ridiculous.
Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel
OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. In actual fact I used to be particularly advised, once I acquired the ebook deal, that I needed to embody the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to all the components that can probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.
However principally it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods wherein I didn’t develop into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular skill to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any state of affairs.
You possibly can pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably secure wager that you just’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so if you happen to solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be eternally in your debt.
Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel right here
I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the ebook and in regards to the technique of writing it as a result of it has actually been the very best, most satisfying factor I’ve ever completed in my grownup life. In case you’ve adopted me for some time then you definitely’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely happy accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a ebook deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.
*with a bit of luck
**as correct as potential. Principally correct. Considerably correct.
***I used to be pressured to supply this quote myself, as a result of it’s too early to get one off one other author but. I attempted to maintain it refined and fashionable.
****actually, the variety of individuals I needed to sleep with.