Staring down at my physique, I knew one thing was completely different in comparison with the opposite women in school. I used to be solely 10, happening 11, but hairs poked out from the sleek pores and skin on my legs. Quickly, extra hair sprouted in locations I didn’t count on. Not less than not at that age. At school, I took to becoming my PE package away from the ladies in my class. ‘Why does nobody else appear to have this hair throughout their physique?’ I puzzled, pulling my tights off as I contorted my physique to cover my legs. I felt like I used to be protecting a shameful secret.
On reflection, I realise that embarrassment got here from societal pressures and misogyny — one thing that completely went over my 10-year-old head. Within the early 2000s and 2010s, physique positivity was, properly, it wasn’t. Girls with physique hair? Nowhere to be seen. Flicking by means of {a magazine} or scrolling on Instagram within the early days, you’d be confronted with picture after picture of ladies with modern, tender pores and skin. The message was clear: to be thought of enticing, ladies needed to be hairless. Each inch of us. Maybe that’s why I by no means seen any hair on the opposite women within the altering room.
A lot to the delight of my schoolmates, who relished in whispered feedback behind my again, I selected to not shave. I’d heard so many unfavorable issues about it, discuss of shaving rashes and itchy stubble. Why would I decide in for that? Most days, nobody noticed my naked pores and skin anyway, however issues modified after I took up athletics.
Strolling onto the sector, I felt comfy in dishevelled shorts and a vest, able to compete. As I progressed, nonetheless, the expectations of what I wore shifted. ‘Put these on,’ my coach stated, handing me a pair of high-cut pants earlier than an enormous competitors. Gazing my new uniform within the altering room, I knew how uncovered I’d really feel if I wore it. In athletics there’s an unstated rule that in case you don’t put on what you’re informed — and shave to look good in it — you aren’t critical concerning the sport. Like, excuse me, how does physique hair have an effect on my efficiency? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
Regardless of the affect it had on my athletic profession, I selected to not put on the uniform I used to be given. The double requirements have been (and are) infuriating. My male teammates continued to put on unfastened clothes — nobody cared what they appeared like, or how excessive the lower of their pants was. In the meantime, for us women, our heads raced with ideas of bikini strains, waxing, wedgies. All of this whereas nonetheless specializing in coaching. It was exhausting.
Finally the judgement obtained to me. I knew I stood out, and it was made clear to me that being ‘presentable’ mattered greater than my precise expertise on the sector. I attempted trimming to — in society’s phrases — ‘tidy myself up’, but it surely simply wasn’t satisfying nor did it go away me feeling comfy in my pores and skin. Extra importantly, I knew I wasn’t doing it for me, I used to be doing it for the approval of others.