Christmas: that magical time of sleeping in, overindulging and… erm, texting your ex?
There’s one thing concerning the cosy nights and the festive songs that makes us really feel the urge to succeed in out to you understand who. After a couple of glasses of mulled wine, we simply get the itch to begin typing that doomed message: “Heyyy, what’s uppppp?”
And, let’s face it, issues often go downhill from there. Finest case state of affairs? You get again collectively and reside fortunately ever after. Realistically? You’ve got a nostalgia-fuelled hook-up or get ghosted. Both manner, you get up the subsequent morning feeling worse for put on. Not very festive.
Why is it so tempting to revisit our ghosts of Christmas previous? And why is it (often) such a harmful thought? We spoke to Hope Flynn, founding father of FeedMeFemale and head of content material at iPlaySafe, to search out out.
Why can we take into consideration ex-partners at Christmas?
Christmas is a time of 12 months once we all lean into our nostalgic sides. Whether or not meaning reminiscing about your childhood Christmases or you end up reflecting on the more moderen previous is one other matter.
“The nostalgia and mawkish emotions related to Christmas make us begin excited about our previous relationships and the sentiments of ‘togetherness’ in addition to the reminiscences that we as soon as shared,” Flynn says. “In direction of the tip of the 12 months, most of us begin reflecting on the previous and possibly areas the place we nonetheless search closure. So, in the event you didn’t finish issues in one of the simplest ways with your ex, then maybe Christmas is the season for goodwill and probably a very good time to realize the closure you want.”
The opposite issue is… booze. Yep — when we have now a couple of too many glasses of crimson, we turn into much more sentimental — and rather less conscious of who we must always and should not be texting.
“Alcohol could make us lose our inhibitions and provides us the perceived self-confidence required to ship an ex a textual content,” she says. “Should you can, my recommendation is to try to wait till the subsequent morning to ship that textual content. Should you really feel the urge, strive penning this in your drafts or as a message to your self after which revisit it the subsequent morning. You will have a full change of coronary heart the subsequent day.”
What are the downsides of texting an ex at Christmas?
Drunk texting (and its shut cousin, Christmas texting) are sometimes errors.
For one factor, if you’re the one who ended issues, reaching out won’t be honest on the opposite particular person. “Chances are you’ll be creating a way of false hope to your ex in the event that they nonetheless have emotions for you and even creating false hope for your self if in case you have needs to rekindle issues romantically,” she says. “All the time take into consideration what the true function of getting in contact is — as generally ‘connection’ can get confused with expectation.”
A Christmas ex textual content may additionally depart you feeling worse concerning the relationship than you probably did earlier than.
“Your textual content would possibly open up a can of worms and convey up outdated feelings,” says Flynn. “Or, in the event you or your ex are within the means of transferring on or therapeutic from the break up, sending this textual content would possibly complicate the therapeutic course of and reopen outdated wounds.”